True Intimacy in Your Relationships

Most people assume that after being married or together for years, communication gets easier. They believe that the intimacy and relationship grows as a couple is together for longer periods of time. However, it is not by accident that a couple is able to get close and stay that way. In order to have your marriage or relationship last the rest of your life, you need to find ways to keep the love going and create true intimacy and all your relationships.

How Do You Keep The Love Going?

Open communication is one of the best ways to improve your marriage relationship. This does not mean that all you need to do to effectively communicate is talk and listen. In order for communication to be effective, you actually have to try to understand the other person. You can’t just sit back and let your partner vent. It is vital to find ways to truly understand what your partner is feeling and what kinds of things would create intimacy in the relationship for them.

Do Not Read Between the Lines

Whenever you are in a discussion about how your marriage is going, it is vital to actually listen to what your partner is saying, not to fill in any blanks for yourself or assume what they mean. If you hear your partner state that they need some alone time, do not take it as of they do not want you around. It may seem like they are saying they do not like the time the two of you spend together and that they have better things to do than be with you. However, your partner may simply mean that he/she just wants a little time to be alone.

To help you understand this a little better, let’s think about your favorite food. Let’s say that favorite food is chocolate. You would prefer to eat a dessert with chocolate in it over any other type of dessert. This doesn’t mean that you don’t want a caramel sundae on occasion. The same is true for your relationship. It is not unusual for your partner to occasionally want to go out with his/her friends or to have a quiet evening alone to read a book. It is in no way an indication that your partner is falling out of love with you.

This is only one example of about how a marriage may lose some of its intimacy, but it can be applied to almost any marital problem. Do not allow your insecurities, issues, or assumptions get in the way of understanding exactly what your partner is telling you. Anytime you are sure you fully understand what they are feeling, ask questions that will help you know that you understand the situation accurately.

After you feel you have an understanding of what your partner is telling you, repeat it back to them in your own words. This is helpful in two ways First of all, you will know if you understood them or not. Secondly, they will know if you understood them or not. There is no way to explain how aggravating it is to try to discuss your feeling and think that you are not being heard at all. It is vital to let your partner know you heard what was said, understand it, and are willing to help come up with solutions for solving any issues.

Think of the old adage: Do unto Others…

This is also true in marriage intimacy and relationships: it is a two way street. In order for your partner to take the initiative to listen to your issues and respond positively, you have to do the same for them. You can start doing this by truly listening to them and making sure you understand their side of the issue fully. After the two of you understand each other, it will be easier to find solutions to any issues that work for both people involved.

Whenever you’re ready to find out about other tips, tools and strategies for having intimacy relationships, or you would just like additional personal growth and self help tools visit us at: www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com or stop by our website at: www.FocusedAttention.com