True Intimacy in Your Relationships

Trust is said to be the foundation of any successful relationship.  But what happens when trust is broken?  How do you rebuild it to bring back true intimacy in your relationship?  NLP Coach, Stephen Hedger, discusses several tips on how you can build trust in a relationship.

How to build trust in a relationship — NLP Personal Development …

We’ve compiled some famous and inspiring love quotes for you and your loved one.  If you don’t know how to express true intimacy in your relationship, pick from one of these quotes, and let your partner know what you truly feel.

Taken from http://lh6.ggpht.com

True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart. - Honore de Balzac

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. – Franklin P. Jones

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. - Helen Keller

Love is strong yet delicate.  It can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this. – Stephen Packer

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. – George Sand

Go Deeper!

One challenge couples have when working on their relationship problems is identifying what causes their problems in the first place. Very often couples focus more on the everyday aggravations, or frustrations then they do spending time figuring out what causes them. We suggest that if you take a little more time to look a deeper at that intimacy in your relationship and find out what’s really at the root of your problems, you shift from negativity back to the intimacy you desire.

You Wouldn’t Put Up with a Bad Mechanic

Think about the following illustration: You get into your car and notice your oil light on then realize your car is leaking oil and your driveway has a big puddle and it. You take it over to your mechanic. They discover the oil tank dangerously low and fill it up. Then they tell you, “Problem solved!” Would you say thank you and walk away or would you tell them that they only dealt with one symptom of the problem, and you need to leak fixed.

Very often without realizing it, couples treat their relationship the same the mechanic did in the example – by only paying attention to one troubling issue in their relationship, but without considering how they can fix the cause of the problem, and come up with a permanent solution.

Intimacy in relationships needs to be looked after, cultivated, and encouraged. Each time you find that you’re dissatisfied about something in your relationship, take a moment to think about what’s bothering you – and then go deeper. Consider what the underlying cause of that particular issue is. For example, if your significant other is always arriving home late from work without calling you, you might think that asking them to call you when they’re running late would fix the problem. However, this often isn’t the case.

Although they might begin to call you when they’re on their way home from work, or when they notice that there still at work and probably will be late getting home, it’s likely that other issues will arise, because the actual issue isn’t been addressed. The problem in this situation is that you’re not getting the consideration you want. While they might start calling you sometimes when they’re running late, if the core issue hasn’t been addressed, you’ll soon start noticing other cases that seem like lack of consideration.

Take the first step by figuring out what the real problems are. This can only happen when you begin to communicate with your partner. This isn’t as easy as just talking to them. Effective communication takes willingness, commitment and awareness. One of the biggest pitfalls to effective communication is using language that separates you from your partner. This might sound something like, “I want you to think about my feelings more often if you want to make this relationship to work.” By simply shifting your point of view and saying something more like, “I’d like to work together to identify ways to help us both feel considered in this relationship.” When you make this little shift you will significantly ship the tone of the conversation. Neither you nor your partner will feel as though you are on the hot seat, and you’ll both be more open and honest in your communication.

This is the first step to getting the intimacy back in relationships. Getting the intimacy in your relationship back to where you want it can be as easy as simple as having a conversation, or shifting some perspective. The key is to always identify the underlying issues that are holding you both back from the love and relationship you deserve.

When you’re ready to find out about other strategies and techniques for creating a deeper level of intimacy in all your relationships or discover about additional personal growth and self help tools and tips visit us at: www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com or stop by our website at: www.FocusedAttention.com and sign up for our free motivational weekly action tips.

To start your Valentine’s Day right, here’s a very sweet and heartwarming picture. It’s never too late to bring back intimacy in your relationship; take a cue from these two kittens! Enjoy!

Photo courtesy of: http://www.loversquotes.com

Love yourself before you can truly love someone…simple but powerful saying. We sometimes love to the point that we forget about valuing ourselves. Read this very insightful article on how taking care of yourself equates to taking care of your relationship.

When You Take Care Of Yourself, You Take Care Of Your Relationship

It doesn’t deepen the intimacy! Making love, having adventures, loving conversation, and discovering new places together are just some of the stuff of relationships that creates bonding and greater intimacy. …

Most people assume that after being married or together for years, communication gets easier. They believe that the intimacy and relationship grows as a couple is together for longer periods of time. However, it is not by accident that a couple is able to get close and stay that way. In order to have your marriage or relationship last the rest of your life, you need to find ways to keep the love going and create true intimacy and all your relationships.

How Do You Keep The Love Going?

Open communication is one of the best ways to improve your marriage relationship. This does not mean that all you need to do to effectively communicate is talk and listen. In order for communication to be effective, you actually have to try to understand the other person. You can’t just sit back and let your partner vent. It is vital to find ways to truly understand what your partner is feeling and what kinds of things would create intimacy in the relationship for them.

Do Not Read Between the Lines

Whenever you are in a discussion about how your marriage is going, it is vital to actually listen to what your partner is saying, not to fill in any blanks for yourself or assume what they mean. If you hear your partner state that they need some alone time, do not take it as of they do not want you around. It may seem like they are saying they do not like the time the two of you spend together and that they have better things to do than be with you. However, your partner may simply mean that he/she just wants a little time to be alone.

To help you understand this a little better, let’s think about your favorite food. Let’s say that favorite food is chocolate. You would prefer to eat a dessert with chocolate in it over any other type of dessert. This doesn’t mean that you don’t want a caramel sundae on occasion. The same is true for your relationship. It is not unusual for your partner to occasionally want to go out with his/her friends or to have a quiet evening alone to read a book. It is in no way an indication that your partner is falling out of love with you.

This is only one example of about how a marriage may lose some of its intimacy, but it can be applied to almost any marital problem. Do not allow your insecurities, issues, or assumptions get in the way of understanding exactly what your partner is telling you. Anytime you are sure you fully understand what they are feeling, ask questions that will help you know that you understand the situation accurately.

After you feel you have an understanding of what your partner is telling you, repeat it back to them in your own words. This is helpful in two ways First of all, you will know if you understood them or not. Secondly, they will know if you understood them or not. There is no way to explain how aggravating it is to try to discuss your feeling and think that you are not being heard at all. It is vital to let your partner know you heard what was said, understand it, and are willing to help come up with solutions for solving any issues.

Think of the old adage: Do unto Others…

This is also true in marriage intimacy and relationships: it is a two way street. In order for your partner to take the initiative to listen to your issues and respond positively, you have to do the same for them. You can start doing this by truly listening to them and making sure you understand their side of the issue fully. After the two of you understand each other, it will be easier to find solutions to any issues that work for both people involved.

Whenever you’re ready to find out about other tips, tools and strategies for having intimacy relationships, or you would just like additional personal growth and self help tools visit us at: www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com or stop by our website at: www.FocusedAttention.com

Inspiration =  Motivation

If you are looking to deepening intimacy in your relationships, start with inspiration. What inspires you? When do you feel the most intimacy in your relationships?

Get creative!

You can find inspiration in many places. You might be inspired by quotes, videos, intimacy books–whatever it is for you–find it and bring more intimacy into your relationships today.

To get you started… we know that sex isn’t the only way to create intimacy in your relationship, but it certainly is a nice one. here’s a video we found that might help inspire you.

Marriage Advice – Scheduling of Intimacy